Fatphobic bigotry is assuming fat people owe you an answer when you ask them questions like these:
“When is the last time you exercised? What did you do? What was the last thing you ate?”
^an ask I got from an anonymous troll.
Healthism is assuming the answers to…
[Picture: Background: 8 piece pie style color split with light blue and green alternating. Foreground: White man with black-rimmed glasses wearing a pink and black striped t-shirt, a small black bag strapped over his shoulder, and visible tattoos on his arms. Top text: “No, I don’t have a problem with fat people.” Bottom text: “I just think it’s really gross! I mean unhealthy.”]
TW: EATING DISORDERS, ANOREXIA, BULIMIA, ANXIETY/DEPRESSION
You’re right, I don’t. And I’m not. But when I was sick earlier this summer, and started going days, halves of weeks, without eating a single thing, or when I spent an entire day throwing up everything I ate, I started to look at things a bit differently. When I got better, I was still afraid to eat because of the pain. And then, when the pain went away, I was afraid to eat because…because I’d gone three days, three and a half days, then four days, without eating. I wanted to see how far I could go without eating. Coming home is always stressful for me; being back under the same roof as my parents, being separated from my best friends, not to mention my relationship was on the rocks, I liked that I had complete control over what I put into my body. Or what I didn’t put into my body. I liked the cramping, those aches that were my stomach telling me to eat, it was hungry! I liked seeing how far I could push myself. Now, I started eating again, and I haven’t felt like that for a month now. It wasn’t extreme, I don’t know how much weight I lost, and I don’t care to know. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t noticeable, it wasn’t even that scary. But it did scare me. Because I was starting to exhibit the signs of an eating disorder. My mindset was very similar to that of people who do have eating disorders.
But I couldn’t have an eating disorder, because I don’t look like I have an eating disorder. And what’s scary is that how many people have eating disorders, but people don’t notice or care, because they don’t “look” like they do? The DSM-IV now says that you have to have a certain weight to get help, and it sickens me. Anybody is susceptible to having health problems, and don’t ever let anyone make you think you can’t or don’t have a problem because you haven’t harmed yourself enough.
I don’t have an eating disorder, and I can’t say what it’s like or speak for someone who does. But if you do, please get help, because you don’t have to do this to yourself.
If you are having problems with depression, suicide or self injury do not hesitate to get help. Talk to a friend, parent or guardian, doctor, teacher, family member, or call any one of the listed hotlines.
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743 Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438 Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673 Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272 Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
Also, this blog is a safe space. We are not trained professionals, but we are your friends. At any time, you can drop a line and remain anonymous. We will listen.
“Yes, it’s okay to be fat” by Ragen Chastain
“It is totally, completely 100% ok for someone to be fat. Nobody needs anyone’s encouragement, justification or permission to live in their body. Period. This is true whether or not people are able to achieve permanent weight loss – it is a matter of civil rights.”
I’ve been aware for a while that being fat and identifying as a woman, means that my body comes with politics, whether I like it or not. But it’s only been recently that I’ve realized the two are linked.
Because I am fat, my mother is reluctant to help me make an appointment with my doctor to discuss my medication, and whether or not I can get on birth control (she handles the insurance information, makes the phone calls, drives a car, etc; I’m not really good at functioning in mainstream society). I’ve been hearing over and over that no doctor will put me on birth control because of my weight. BECAUSE of my weight, other people get to make decisions about MY body. Even after I’ve explained that PCOS causes weight gain, and birth control helps people with PCOS. But…that’s impossible, because they don’t let fat people have birth control, don’t they?
And oh yeah, there was that one time with my one visit to an OB/GYN. He told me about a form of birth control that is injected, but then said, “that causes added weight gain, though, which you don’t want”. Well fuck me, I didn’t realize that you were in charge of my body, and got to make decisions for me about my fucking body.
I’m pissed. I am more than pissed. My weight DOES NOT, never has, and never will define my body, or my choices.